


my lucky star is you

by ceaselesswatcher



Category: Naruto
Genre: Declarations Of Love, Don’t copy to another site, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fuuinjutsu Master Umino Iruka, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-07 01:23:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18400268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceaselesswatcher/pseuds/ceaselesswatcher
Summary: Iruka is on his way home from a mission.If he's lucky -- maybe the stars have decided to be generous for his birthday tomorrow -- even Kakashi will be there to greet him.





	my lucky star is you

Hidden on a branch, Iruka is enjoying the respite from the sun that's been cracking down on him since nine in the morning. It's almost June, and although still spring, it definitely feels like summer has come already. He burrows in his thigh pocket for one of his supplies scrolls and, taking note to use as little chakra as possible, unseals a water bottle. He gulps it down then seals it back inside, warily looking around. Iruka's close to Konoha but still not quite home. It would do him no good if enemy nin picked up on his chakra and attacked him, not like this, not when tiredness and heat have seeped into his bones and sweat is running down his forehead, and trickling down his back under the tokujo vest. 

Gods, Iruka is  _ tired _ . 

He wants to get home and scrub the filth off, maybe if the ninken are around persuade Bull to become Iruka's own personal dog pillow; he wants to feel the cool air and the cooler tiles of his apartment. Iruka wants to put his feet up and feel them throb in just the right way -- he likes feeling physically exhausted, it tells him he did his job well. But he doesn't like it that much while he's on the job itself. 

If he's lucky -- maybe the stars have decided to be generous for his birthday tomorrow -- even Kakashi will be there to greet him. With how hot it's getting, he'd be wearing his slacks and nothing else at all, expanses of skin visible and vulnerable. He'd be messing at the stove, Uhei and Shiba lounging around his feet, trying to concoct some odd meal combination that Iruka always ends up loving. 

Iruka's heart clenches with hope; even just Kakashi's simple presence these days is enough to make him flutter with joy. He'd accept it as the worthiest birthday present of all. 

Shaking his head, Iruka sets off toward Konoha. It's only a four hours’ journey away; having completed his mission earlier than expected, Iruka wants to get to the village as fast as possible, he has tests to grade and an apartment to clean -- even those sound inviting after a gruelling search and destroy mission. He hopes Tsunade won't give him another one right away: he  _ is _ the fuinjutsu expert, but it's rare that he gets called on back-to-backs -- the only times that had happened were when Konoha was short-staffed or in the middle of a war. Besides, he really misses his kids at the Academy. He'd even bet Anko that they all miss him too. 

-

Although Iruka's hopes are high, his expectations are low, and when he comes home to an empty apartment that afternoon he isn't surprised. He shrugs off his vest and feels the wards crackle with chakra, shifting, almost as if in a welcome. Iruka smiles ruefully. He needs some human interaction, that's for sure, if he's started feeling like his painstakingly complicated wards are greeting him. But it's nice feeling safe again, like he can finally close his eyes or lie down on his stomach without worrying that he'd get stabbed in the back…  _ again _ . That thought has him checking the wards again, just to make sure. He probably needs to refill the chakra in them. That’s a task for another day, though -- a day when he doesn’t feel like his bones are creaking under his weight and only his residue chakra is holding him up. 

Iruka stretches and rolls his joints, groaning at the satisfying pops and subsequent relief. Maybe he can draw himself a bath -- Tonton had wrinkled her nose in mild disgust when Iruka appeared in the Hokage's office; he knows that was from his less than pleasant smell. 

The day slowly melts into evening as Iruka relaxes, his mission-adjusted mind easing into a less high-strung state, still aware but not wary. He's been soaking in the bath for at least an hour, but he can't get himself to move and he supposes it's good for his sore muscles anyway. The sun is setting and caressing Iruka's face, and he submerges in the water a little, glad to be home at last. 

His hands have pruned so Iruka gets up, gripping the edge of the tub and smiling to himself as he envisions what the ninken would be doing, were they here, along with their master. They'd be staying away from Iruka and the wayward drops that slide down his legs, loathe to get wet, and Kakashi would try to splash them. Then he'd get a hold of Iruka, and the effects of the bath would be equated to nil when they'd sweat all over their bed in shared touches, full of love and ecstasy. 

Maybe it was too much to ask of the stars to have Kakashi back in time for Iruka's birthday, he thinks. His mood has dampened after realising the somber contrast of his imaginings with the reality of the empty bathroom he's dripping in. 

Maybe he should be grateful if Kakashi is back at all. 

-

He wakes in the middle of the night to a gentle shift in the wards, and after a while, a gentle dip in the mattress. Strong, wiry arms wrap around his middle and he feels thin lips press on the skin right below his ear. 

“Happy birthday, baby,” Kakashi whispers. “I hope I was the first to tell you.”

Iruka looks at the clock. 00:12. Of course Kakashi made it in time -- a self-deprecating part of Iruka wants to say Kakashi's only on time for the most unimportant things, but he sighs and blinks away the tears that always threaten to come whenever his lover comes back from a mission in one piece. Somehow it's worse than when Kakashi ends up in the hospital, because he feels like his luck will run out soon. He thanks the stars and prays this isn't their last blessing as a parting gift before they hand Kakashi over to less benevolent forces. 

“No,” Iruka says, mirth and resignation coloring his voice, “the wards congratulated me first.”

-

In the morning, Iruka smells dog butt and opens his eyes, greeted by Pakkun's unimpressed stare. “Boss,” Pakkun says, and Iruka looks around for Kakashi but the faint clanking coming from the kitchen means Pakkun is talking to Iruka.  _ Oh.  _ When did  _ that _ happen? 

“ _ Boss, _ ” Pakkun repeats because Iruka has spaced off for long enough. “The other boss told me to wake you up and tell you to leave the apartment. He said it much more crass, but I like you more than him so I'm being nice about it.”

If Kakashi is making breakfast, why should Iruka leave? He opens his mouth to protest, but Uhei flops onto the bed and cuts Iruka off. 

“He said that if you ask, to tell you that he's doing his duty as your boyfriend.”

Iruka scoffs. “His duty as my boyfriend is to cook me breakfast. What else is there?” 

If dogs could look amused -- these can, Iruka thinks wryly -- Uhei looks as amused as possible. He thinks there's an odd glint in her eyes. “He's weird, humor him. He said he'll give us treats. At least do it for us.”

“Oh and, happy birthday, Boss,” Pakkun grunts. 

There's no way Iruka can say no to that; he has a huge soft spot for Kakashi's ninken, and Pakkun's congratulation has him almost giddy. That, and the newfound knowledge that he's close enough to Kakashi that they consider him their boss too, even though he's not officially on the summoning scroll. He dresses in comfortable training gear and hops out the window in true Kakashi fashion, beginning a lap around Konoha to stretch his healing muscles. 

Gai joins him after fifteen minutes of running and yells happy birthday to Iruka every time he catches up (the man does three laps in the time it takes Iruka to do one) which gathers the attention of passersby and a flutter of more congratulations. Iruka can't remember the last time he received so many; not even in his years at the Academy did he attract the attention of random people's well wishes. 

After an hour of leisurely jogging, Iruka's started to sweat and Gai has taken his leave too. He slows to a walk when he's near his workplace and enters the Academy, the cool air inside greeting him pleasantly. It's a Thursday but he has until the weekend off thanks to his mission. 

Everyone is outside on the Academy training fields -- Iruka can hear children's excited shrieks and the dull thumps of kunai embedding into wood -- so he can peacefully rifle through his desk and settle for a while. He begins grading, chuckling to himself from time to time at the things his students come up with. Who knew the best way to execute an ambush was to dress up as a carrot and hide in the nearby carrot seller's cart? 

Grading aside, Iruka takes a moment to appreciate his being in the classroom in one piece -- he made it through another mission, and so had Kakashi. He knows, deep down in his core, that there's no way to control what happens on missions. No amount of praying will help unwind the coil inside of him that tells him one day, Iruka might have to see Kakashi bleed to death and bury him, that Kakashi's name will be just another string of letters etched onto the memorial stone, and his memory will slowly fade from people's minds until he is but a legend -- the Copy Nin of a Thousand Jutsu, and Iruka's most beloved. 

If he is to think of Naruto, Naruto is a fire burning bright and powerful: looking at him sometimes hurts Iruka's eyes, despite how much he wants to keep staring. By contrast, Kakashi is low burning and hidden away, his embers have many times almost given up; yet although unsteady, they're there -- always ready to blaze up into a surprising beacon of light. Iruka, breathless with surprise the first time he'd witnessed Kakashi unfold for him, peel off all those layers for  _ him _ , had thought that he never wanted to see that fire go out. He'd almost cursed his chakra's nature: if he had an air affinity, would he be able to stoke that flame better?

He knows, though, that Kakashi would have him no other way. As he stares off into space, tests forgotten on the desk in front of him, he recalls all the conversations they've had on the topic of  _ worthiness _ . They both held strong beliefs that each of them was unworthy of the other -- not anymore, but before they'd gotten together; the dance they'd danced, when they'd twisted around each other pining and hoping, yet at the same time trying to stay away. 

That dance had been long and winding and had wasted so much of their time. Iruka still can't help but feel that if they'd just admitted their attraction to each other early on, they could have sorted those problems out much sooner -- then they'd have more time, but… It's not on a timer, Iruka always has to remind himself, even though he lays awake at night hearing Kakashi's heartbeat hammering in his ear (and when his lover is not there, Iruka's own) grasping desperately for a hold on his own feelings. Trying to tamper them, rein them in, and it hurts Iruka to admit, but even trying to lessen them, because he knows it will tear him apart to hear that heartbeat go out. 

If their positions were reversed, it would tear Kakashi apart too, Iruka realises with a start. 

He's overcome with the sudden urge to slam through the classroom window and run across the roofs until he's back in the apartment -- it's not about wasting time, it's about the realisation that Iruka has been battling with these feelings and choking up on them all alone, when they'd already decided that keeping silent and continuing the dance was something they would never do again. He wants to tell Kakashi everything, now out of all times -- whatever Kakashi is doing, whatever surprise he's cooking up for Iruka can wait because a birthday means nothing if his loved ones aren't there to celebrate it with him, and right now Kakashi is warm, living, solid and his blood is thrumming right there in Iruka's kitchen and Iruka is…grading tests? 

_ Grading tests, now that's wasting time,  _ he thinks to himself as he rises slowly from the chair, barely able to contain the buzzing energy in his limbs. Anko will probably say he finally had the mental breakdown she knows is long overdue, but to Iruka it only feels like absolution. Like an inevitable answer to a previously unsolvable equation -- his love cannot be contained, and his muscles tremble with it as he walks assuredly through the streets of Konoha. His grin might be slightly manic, he realises when a passerby shoots him a small, worried smile, but he couldn't care less. He needs to tell Kakashi, and he needs to tell him now -- or else, he might burst with it, and not even one of his extremely powerful barrier seals would be able to hold back the ensuing explosion. 

Still, he knocks on the door despite the restless energy threatening to take hold of him because he knows how much the little things mean to Kakashi, and he also knows this birthday surprise is Kakashi's way of showing --  _ words don't mean a lot to me _ , Kakashi had said once -- how much he loves Iruka. 

Kakashi opens the door with a kitchen cloth held up to his face, his eye curling in a smile. “Hello there. You’re right on time,” he says and steps aside to let Iruka in.

The smell of baked goods registers and Iruka furrows his brow, manic need to express his affection momentarily forgotten, because he'd thought Kakashi was only going to cook breakfast. He raises an eyebrow to Kakashi who's discarded the cloth and his face is now an open book to Iruka, on which he reads anticipation and subdued amusement. 

“Go on, I know the dogs already told you it was a surprise,” Kakashi says and grins at Iruka, his canine teeth poking out. Instead of going to the kitchen, Iruka strides to Kakashi and captures his lips in a passionate kiss, unwilling to let go even when Kakashi's hands gently push at Iruka's hips. Kakashi chuckles. “Eager to get on with the birthday sex? That's part two of the present, and we can do it on the kitchen counter first -- but only  _ after _ you see what I made, okay?”

Iruka blushes and grins at Kakashi. “I love you,” he says, relishing in the way a faint flush spreads on Kakashi's cheekbones, in the way he bites his lip and moves his gaze toward where his hand is still gripping Iruka's hip -- like he doesn't want to let go, and the dam breaks open. “I love you, Kakashi, and I know you said words don't mean much but I need to say this--” 

“You could have waited until  _ after _ the surprise,” Kakashi mutters, strange expression on his face, but Iruka continues nonetheless. 

“I need you to hear this -- I am afraid, I am  _ terrified _ that one day I'm going to wake up and you will only exist as a body buried somewhere or in an urn on a dusty shelf in the Hatake compound, and that all I'll be left with is the memory of you -- I need you to know I am terrified because I wouldn't have it any other way.” Iruka breathes for a bit, and then continues. “There's no one to replace you,” he says as his lips ghost over the side of Kakashi's mouth, “no one else with a pack of dog summons and ridiculously canine teeth that are hidden beneath a mask, no one else with a horrible porn reading tendency--” Kakashi huffs, “--that only serves to hide the fact that you are afraid of making a real commitment, yet… You made this commitment to me.”

Iruka rests his forehead against Kakashi's. “There's so much that I want to tell you but you're right, there are no words. I just wanted you to know. I love you, and I don't need you to say it back because I've seen it and I’ve felt it and you will  _ tell _ me with whatever surprise is in that kitchen, but I love you -- it's terrifying, and I was sitting there in my classroom grading tests and all I could think about was that if I hadn't told you and one of us died, that would have been the biggest regret of my life.”

Kakashi only nods, gulping heavily and exhaling against Iruka's neck. Iruka's not sure but there might be a dampness where Kakashi has now rested his own forehead, and he cards a hand through impossible silver hair in a comforting gesture. He knows how Kakashi feels, because he feels it too: after the dam broke, and the river rushed out, the heaviness dissipated and there's only a gentle stream now, running through both of them and tying them together. 

“You awful sap, this was straight out of an Icha Icha,” Kakashi says and pecks the crook of Iruka's neck. “Have you been doing extra reading on missions? This was supposed to be your day, not mine.”

“It's not my day without you in it,” Iruka smiles.

Kakashi pulls away and draws in a shuddering breath. Then Pakkun speaks and ruins the whole damn thing. 

“Boss, the fucking cake in the kitchen is melting. You gonna eat that or what?” 

It's so strange. It's strange and complicated yet at the same time, very familiar, and Iruka wouldn't have it any other way. He bursts out laughing as Kakashi groans, burying his face in his hands and dramatically flopping down on the couch. 

“Go! Leave me! I will be here, resting after all my hard work only to have my surprise ruined by my  _ own _ ninken, who are supposed to serve me --  _ me!  _ Betrayed!” 

Shaking his head, Iruka walks to the kitchen. There really is a small cake there, and it really is melting, but the words written on it are still visible. Iruka's breath catches in his throat. 

_ there are many of them in the sky, but my lucky star is you _

He knows, from that moment on, that it isn’t the stars that make Kakashi come home mission after mission. It's Iruka, and the love that binds them together. 

Iruka sends his last prayer of thanks toward the heavens. No more thinking of the stars… he has a lover to think of instead. 

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Birthday to our wondrous, devoted, strong, willing, disciplined, fiery, dedicated, complex, and most beloved sensei, Iruka! He inspires me to be a better person every day.


End file.
